Here are our favourite best sales jokes of all time. A great way to start your day on a positive note; to relieve stress or to kick off your weekly sales meetings.

If there is one thing my 35 plus year career in sales has taught me is that the right frame of mind is one of the keys to success. When I was going through cancer treatment a few years ago, I learned the importance laughter plays in that frame of mind.

So here you go; to start your day off on a positive note; to relieve stress after a long day on the road, or to kick off your weekly sales meetings; here are, in no particular order, my favourites of the best sales jokes of all time.

Remember as the old saying goes, and I speak from experience, laughter truly is the best medicine!

Best Sales Jokes 1 to 25
More of the Best Sales Jokes 26 to 50
Even More of the Best Sales Jokes 51 to 75
Bonus Sales Jokes 75+

75+ of the Best Sales Jokes

Who says colding calling is dead?

3. Did you hear about the saleswoman who sold a lot of freezers over the phone? She did mostly cold calls. Source: Amazon Alexa
4. “This house,” said the real estate salesperson, “has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I’m honest, I’m going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north.” “What are the advantages?” inquired the prospective buyer. “The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing.” Source: AJokeADay.com
5. Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month? Customer: (slight pause) For how many months? Source: AJokeADay.com

Here’s the Next 5 Sales Jokes!

6. The sales manager walked up on a telemarketing rep and caught him napping. “Hey!” the manager shouted. “Why aren’t you working?” “Because I didn’t see you coming.” Source: AJokeADay.com
7. A woman is undressing for a bath and while she's standing naked, there's a knock at the door. The woman calls, 'Who is it?' A voice answers, 'A blind salesman.' The woman decides to get a thrill by having the blind man in the room while she's naked so she lets him in. The man walks in, looks straight at the woman and says, 'Uhhhh, well hello there, can I sell you a blind, dearie…?' Source: insidesales.com

A New Type of Sales Report?

8. The bargain store promised a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn't count on it. [Source] Source: leveleleven.com
9. The boss called one of his employees into the office. “Rob,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off as an office clerk, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now it’s time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to that?” “Thanks,” said the employee. “Thanks?” the boss replied. “Is that all you can say?” “I suppose not,” the employee said. “Thanks, Dad.”Source: AJokeADay.com
10. Why did the shoe salesman dance all day? He had a lot of sole. Source: AJokeADay.com

That’s the first 10! Keep reading for even more of the best sales jokes!

11. A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesperson manages to bull his way into a woman’s home in a rural area. “This machine is the best ever” he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor. The woman says she’s really worried it may not all come off, so the salesperson says, “If this machine doesn’t remove all the dust completely, I’ll lick it off myself.” “Do you want ketchup on it?” she says, “we’re not connected for electricity yet!” Source: Funny Jokes“

One for all the New Sales Managers!

12. A new sales manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, “I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can’t solve.” Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong – the usual stuff – and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says “Blame your predecessor!” He does this and gets off the hook. About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize!” This he does, and the company quickly rebounds. Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says “Prepare three envelopes”. Source: jokes4all.net

Take a Minute to Laugh Before the Next Joke

13. A sales rep for the local paper called on Riley the chemist. 'No way. I've been in business forty-one years and never spent a penny on advertising yet.' 'Really? Then you can tell me, what is that handsome building on the top of the hill?' 'That's St Catherine's church.' 'Been there long?' 'Over a hundred years.' 'They still ring the bell, don't they?' Source: Desi Comments

Feeling stressed? Try this!

14. Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: 'Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package.' Source: Desi Comments
15. Oh, you’re just looking? Well Christopher Columbus was “just looking” and look what he found. Source: Hubspot

Here’s the Next 5!

Hope you are getting a few good chuckles from these sales jokes. Here’s some more!

16. Boss: Did you get any orders today? Salesman: Yes, I got two! Boss: Congratulations! What were they? Salesman: 'Get out!' and 'Stay out!' Source: insidesales.com
17. I was fired from my job selling amplifiers. I didn't achieve the sufficient volume of sales. [Source] Source: leveleleven.com
18. There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define ‘great’ he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!” He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages. Source: AJokeADay.com

Take a Minute to Laugh Before the Next Joke

19. By three measures a sales manager is known: 1) The thickness of the carpet in his office. 2) The area of his desk. 3) The volume of his car’s engine. Source: jokes4all.net
20. An applicant was filling out a job application. He came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” He wrote, “No.” The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was “Why?” The applicant answered it anyway… “Never got caught.” Source: AJokeADay.com

Are you laughing yet? Here’s some more!

21. How do salespeople traditionally greet each other? 'Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you.' Source: insidesales.com
22. I used to sell Velcro, but I could not stick with it. [Source] Source: leveleleven.com
23. A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk. “Well they feel a bit tight,” replies the man. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out,” the clerk says. “Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth.” Source: AJokeADay.com

Some Industries are Harder to Sell in Than Others

24. Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: 'Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package.' Source: insidesales.com
25. A realty salesperson had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. 'That customer's going to come back here pretty mad,' he said to his boss. 'Should I give him his money back?' 'Money back?' roared the boss. 'What kind of salesperson are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat.' Source: Funny Jokes

Back to Top

The 75 Best Sales Jokes Continued…

26. A young salesperson peeped into the office of someone who looked like a sales manager, muttered something, then started walking away. After retreating a little he seemed to change his mind and headed back to the door — where after some hesitation, he started to back away again. The sales manager, feeling sorry for the young man, and surprised that he was so badly trained, called him in. “You’re a salesman aren’t you? What are you selling?” “Sir … uh … yes … I’m a salesman. I’m sorry to bother you. I was selling insurance, but I’m sure you don’t want any. Sorry to have wasted your time.” Feeling sorry for the young bungler, the sales manager bought two policies to give the young salesman some confidence and then started teaching him about selling. He said: “You should have different pre-planned approaches for different kinds of—” “But I do, sir,' the young salesman interrupted, 'the one I just used is my planned approach for sales managers. It always works. Thank you!” Source: Hubspot

How Many Salespeople Have Been Here Before?

Take a Minute to Laugh Before the Next Joke

28. Bob, the sales rep had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. He got a great night’s sleep and actually beat the alarm in the morning. After a leisurely breakfast, he cheerfully drove to work. “Boss,” he said, “The pill my doctor subscribed me actually worked!” “That’s all fine,” said the boss, “But where were you yesterday?” Source: AJokeADay.com

Time for Lunch?

29. Two sales people walk into a diner in the countryside. They have decided to stop there for lunch, so without ordering anything they sit down, take out sandwiches from their bags and begin to eat them. The waiter sees this and says to them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” So the salespeople look at each other, shrug, and swap sandwiches.Source: AJokeADay.com
30. A state trooper stopped a sales rep for going 15 miles over the speed limit while rushing to a sales call. After he handed her a ticket, she asked him, “Don’t you give out warnings?” “Yes, ma’am,” he replied. “They’re all up and down the road. They say, ‘Speed Limit 55.'” Source: AJokeADay.com

Here are some more of the best sales jokes of all time!

31. What do you have to know to be a real estate salesperson? Lots. Source: Funny Jokes
32. What does a carpet salesperson give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Rugs and kisses! Source: Funny Jokes

Always have to have a car salesman joke!

33. An old man walked into a car showroom and found the car he wanted to buy. He requested that the salesman not sell the particular model till the next day, since he wanted to buy it on his birthday. The salesman gave his word. The next day the old man visited the showroom only to find the car being sold to a young lady. The young lady looked really gorgeous. The old man asked the salesman, “I told you to keep this car on hold. Not only didn’t you keep your word, you also sold it at a discounted rate.” The salesman replied, “She insisted to buy only this car, and with a discount. Look how beautiful she is? How could I say no to her?” The young lady walked up to the old man, gave the car keys to him and said, “Didn’t I tell you they’d give me a discount? Happy birthday Dad!” Source: AJokeADay.com

Have you ever met these famous sales relatives?

34. Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here’s a listing of some of the lesser known sales relatives: The really obnoxious brother – Please Gogh; The brother who ate prunes – Gotta Gogh; His dizzy aunt – Verti Gogh; An aunt who taught positive thinking – Wayto Gogh; And his “magician” uncle who kept disappearing on prospecting days – Wherediddy Gogh. Source: AJokeADay.com
35. Insurance agent to would-be client: 'Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you awake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know. Source: insidesales.com

Here’s the Next 5!

Some definite laugh out loud moments with these sales jokes. Let’s keep going!

36. A salesman approached a potential client and asked: 'Would you like to buy a pocket calculator?' 'No thanks,' the man replied. 'I know how many pockets I have.' Source: insidesales.com
37. Myra was going to the office party but needed a new party dress. In the clothing store she asked, “May I try on that dress in the window, please?” “Certainly not, madam,'” responded the salesgirl. “You’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.” Source: AJokeADay.com

Sales Success Sometimes Depnds on the Language

38. Salesperson: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here’s got room in their houses for a mammoth. Source: Funny Jokes
39. “A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem. The software manager says, “”I can’t do anything about this – it’s a hardware problem.”” The hardware manager says, “”Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself.”” The marketing manager says, “”Hey, 75% of it is working – let’s ship it!”” Source: Funny Jokes“
40. What salesperson has the slickest line? A hair grease salesperson. Source: Funny Jokes

Some more sales humour to keep you smiling!

41. Despite warnings from his guide, an American skiing in Switzerland got separated from his group and fell—uninjured— into a deep crevasse. Several hours later, a rescue party found the yawning pit, and to reassure the stranded skier, shouted down to him, 'We're from the Red Cross!' 'Sorry,' the imperturbable American echoed back, 'I already gave at the office!' Source: Desi Comments

Take a Minute to Laugh Before the Next Joke

42. A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The storeowner replies “I’m sorry, but the cat isn’t for sale. The collector says, “Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I’ll pay you twenty dollars for that cat.” And the owner says “Sold,” and hands over the cat. The collector continues, “Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat’s used to it and it’ll save me from having to get a dish.” And the owner says, “Sorry buddy, but that’s my lucky saucer. So far this week I’ve sold sixty-eight cats.” Source: Funny Jokes

Take a Minute to Laugh Before the Next Joke

43. The telemarketer asked me if I read magazines at all and I replied that I did, periodically. [Source] Source: leveleleven.com
44. The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order. [Source] Source: leveleleven.com

LOL! Ain’t That the Truth!

45. One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesperson standing on his porch with a strange object. “What is that?” Mikey asked. “It’s a thermos,” the salesperson replied. “What does it do?” asked Mikey. “This baby,” the salesperson said, “keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. “What is it?” they asked.”It’s a thermos,” Mikey replied. “What does it do?” they asked. “Well,” Mikey says in a bragging manner, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” “What do ya got in it?” To which Mikey says, “Three cups of coffee and a popsicle.” Source: Funny Jokes“

Here’s 5 More!

Don’t you just love sales humour! Let’s keep it going with more sales jokes!

46. Question: How many salespeople does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer No. 1: None. You don't need a new lightbulb; you need to upgrade your socket to the newest version. Answer No. 2: Just one, but it'll take technical support weeks to sort out the mess left behind. Answer No. 3: Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under him. Source: Jokes.net
47. Salesperson: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator? Customer: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have. Source: Funny Jokes

How to Respond When the Prospect says No!

46. “No, no, no!” said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesperson. “I cannot see you today!” “That’s fine,” said the salesperson, “I’m selling eye glasses.” Source: Funny Jokes
47. At a job interview: 'Mrs. Lober, what do you consider your greatest weakness?' 'Honesty.' 'Really? I don't believe that is a weakness at all.' 'And I don't really care about your stupid opinion.' Source: AJokeADay.com
48. There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define ‘great’ he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!” He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages. Source: AJokeADay.com

Back to Top

The 75 Best Sales Jokes Continued…

51. To the irritation of the judge, a sales rep was trying to be excused from jury duty. “Tell me,” began the judge, “is there any good reason why you cannot serve as a juror in the trial?” The sales rep replied, “I don’t want to be away from my job that long.” “Can’t they do without you at work?” demanded the judge. “Yes,” admitted the sales rep. “But I don’t want them to realize it.”Source: AJokeADay.com
52. Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, 'I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot.' At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling 'The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!' Source: insidesales.com

Salespeople like to golf, right? Here’s one for you!

53. A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, when a salesman runs up to him and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!” The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?” “It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose it!” “Whattaya mean,” scoffs the golfer, “you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?” “No problem,” says the salesman. “It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it.”
    “Well, what if you hit it into the woods?” “Easy,” says the salesman. “It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed.” “Okay,” says the golfer, impressed. “But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?” “No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I’m telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!” The golfer buys it at once. “Just one question,” he says to the salesman. “Where did you get it?” “I found it.” Source: Jokes.net

Take a Minute to Laugh Before the Next Joke

54. The salesman claimed the shoes were made from alligator, but I knew it was a crock. [Source] Source: leveleleven.com
55. A tired traveler decided to find a hotel for the night. He stumbled to the front desk and said to the clerk, 'Pardon me, I'm exhausted, I've been driving for fourteen hours, I'm hungry, and I have a headache. Can you just tell me what room I'm in?' 'Certainly, sir,' the helpful clerk replied. 'You are in the lobby.' Source: AJokeADay.com

Here’s the Next 5!

56. Asking for directions in the Australian outback is often a chancy business. There was the rep who asked a salesperson for directions to Goombungee. 'Take this road here for about two kilometers and turn left at the hollow log. You keep going for about three more kilometers and you'll come to Riley's dam. Turn left again. About four kilometres down the track you'll come to a big sign advertising sheep dip. Turn left there and keep going.' 'And that'll get me to Goombungee, will it?' 'No. It'll get you back here. If I give you all the directions at once it'll only confuse you.' Source: Desi Comments

Now for a real challenge…

57. A man walked into a game and toy store looking for a challenging board puzzle so he asked the clerk for just such a puzzle. The clerk replied, “Well sir, it depends on what you consider to be challenging?” The man replied, “What do you mean it depends on me, I didn’t make the puzzle so how am I supposed to know if it’s challenging? Don’t you know your products young man?” The clerk replied, “Well sir, it tells you on the box how complex the puzzle is. Lets see here, oh yes, this one should be perfect. Right here on the front of the box it says it takes 3-4 ages to complete.” Source: AJokeADay.com

Take a Minute to Laugh Before the Next Joke

58. The entire North American sales force of Frisky Dog Food was gathered together for their national sales convention at Miami Beach. In the great auditorium the marketing director was giving a performance that any revivalist would have been proud of. Using the old pattern of call and response, he was really working up the spirits of his sales team. 'Who's got the greatest dog food in North America?' 'We have!' 'And who's got the greatest advertising campaigns?' 'We have!' 'Who's got the most attractive packages?' 'We have!' 'Who's got the biggest distribution?' 'WE HAVE!' 'Okay. So why aren't we selling more of the product?' One bold voice from the crowd replied: 'Because the damned dogs don't like it.' Source: Desi Comments

The Best Parking Spot?

59. A sales rep pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, “Can I park here?” “No, sorry.” says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “Well, they didn’t ask.”Source: AJokeADay.com

Salespeople Having Coffee? Go Figure!

And the Sales Jokes Keep Coming!

We’re still not done yet. Here’s more of the best sales jokes from around the globe!

61. I am almost done making a joke about unemployed salespeople, but it still needs some work. [Source] Source: leveleleven.com
62. “Is your mother home?” the salesperson asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. “Yeah, she’s home,” the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesperson rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, “I thought you said your mother was home.” The kid replied, “She is; but this isn’t where I live. Source: Funny Jokes

A Joke About Discounting? Seriously!

63. I took four tires to a friend's garage sale and was asking $35 apiece. I needed to step away for a bit so I asked him to watch them for me. “Sure,” he said, “but just in case someone offers less, how low are you willing to go?” “Try for more, but I will accept $20 each,” I said, and left. When I returned, my tires were gone. “How much did you get for them?” I asked excitedly. “Twenty dollars each.” “Who bought them?” “I did!” Source: AJokeADay.com

Can Your Really Ever Go Home Again?

64. Finnegan returned to his old home town on a visit. While he was there he looked up his old friend Hennessy, who had the general store. He noticed as he went in that the two display windows were jammed full of soap. The two old friends greeted one another. As they did so, Finnegan saw that every shelf in the store was stacked with soap. 'Gosh! You've certainly got a lot of soap.' 'You think so? Look at this.' He took Finnegan through to the storeroom which was also full of soap. 'I don't think I've ever seen so much soap.' 'Come with me.' Hennessy lifted a trapdoor and took him down some steps into a huge cellar, which was jammed with soap from the floor to the roof. 'Gee! You really must sell a lot of soap.' 'No, I don't actually. But the fellow that sold it to me— boy, could he sell soap!' Source: Desi Comments

Here’s the Next 5!

65. Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word. [Source] Source: leveleleven.com
66. A young man is reaching the end of a job interview for an entry level sales position. The sales manager concludes by asking: 'And what starting salary were you looking for?' The applicant replies: '$130K base would be fine.' The sales manager says: 'And what would you say to a XMAS bonus, un-capped commissions, free gym membership, a generous superannuation plan, a fully maintained company car and perhaps your own personal secretary?' The young man sits up and says: 'Wow! Are you joking?' The sales manager responds: 'YES, but you started it!' Source: www.thinkadvisor.com

And now for a musical interlude…

67. Three violin manufactures have all done business for years on the same block in the small town of Cremona, Italy. After years of a peaceful co-existence, the Amati shop decided to put a sign in the window saying: 'We make the best violins in Italy.' The Guarneri shop soon followed suit, and put a sign in their window proclaiming: 'We make the best violins in the world.' Finally, the Stradivarius family put a sign out at their shop saying: 'We make the best violins on the block.' Source: insidesales.com

Take a Minute to Laugh Before the Next Joke

68. A salesperson telephoned a household, and a four-year-old boy answered. The conversation went thus: salesperson: May I speak to your mother? Boy: She's not here. salesperson: Well, is anyone else there? Boy: My sister. salesperson: O.K., fine. May I speak to her? Boy: I guess so. At this point there was a very long silence on the phone. Then: Boy: Hello? salesperson: It's you. I thought you were going to call your sister. Boy: I did. The trouble is, I can't get her out of the playpen. Source: Desi Comments

Nothing Like Door-to-Door Sales to Give Us a Laugh

69. A young door-to-door salesman was selling, off all things– burial plots. Upon the prospect responding that he already has a plot in another cemetery, the salesman decides to cut his losses and says: 'I hope you'll be very happy there…' Source: insidesales.com
70. A novelty store owner called a recent customer. “Mr. Jones? This is Mr. Peters, the owner of Peter’s Novelties. Remember that boomerang you bought the other day? You paid for your purchase with a check, and unfortunately the check came back.” “You’re lucky,” replied the customer. “My boomerang didn’t.” Source: AJokeADay.com

More than 70 of the Best Sales Jokes!

71. Sales Manager: 'The word ‘Impossible’ does not exist in my dictionary!' Sales Rep 'Well, maybe you should have checked it first before buying it.' Source: AJokeADay.com
72. You lost your phone and it’s on silent? Too bad. If you liked it you shoulda put a rind on it. Source: Hubspot
73. A guy who used to sell boomerangs is trying for a comeback. [Source] Source: leveleleven.com

Take a Minute to Laugh Before the Next Joke

74. The top toothbrush salesperson at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied, “It’s easy” and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. Then he told his boss, “I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers.” He laid out his chips and dip. His boss said, “That’s a very innovative approach” and took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. “Yuck, this tastes terrible!” his boss yelled. The salesperson replied “IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?” Source: Funny Jokes
75. Salesperson: 'This computer will cut your workload by 50%.' Office manager: 'That's great! I'll take two of them.' Source: Hubspot

Back to Top

Bonus! Even More of the Best Sales Jokes

76. A sales manager had a reputation for being a strict boss. One day he was in the break room with a sales rep.  The manager reached into the refrigerator for his lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag.  The sales rep stopped mid-bite and stared at the manager, looking a little tense. When the manager finally pulled his sandwich out of the bag, the rep sighed in relief.  “What’s the matter?” the manager asked. “Uh, nothing,” the rep replied, “I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch.” Source: AJokeADay.com

Another Joke About Discounting!

77. Customer: “How much are the rubber bands?”  Salesperson: “$1.98 cents a pound.”  Customer: “But at your competitor's, they are only $0.98 cents a pound.”  Salesperson: “Then you should go there to buy them.”  Customer: “But they are all out of them.”  Salesperson: ” Oh, I see. When we don’t have any, we sell it for $0.50 cents a pound.” Source: AJokeADay.com

78. A software manager, a hardware manager, and a sales manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem. The software manager says, “I can’t do anything about this – it’s a hardware problem.” The hardware manager says, “Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself.” The sales manager says, “Hey, 75% of it is working – let’s ship it!” Source: AJokeADay.com

79. A confused customer approached a sales associate. 'You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says '100% cotton.'' The salesman replied: 'Oh, that's just to keep the moths away. Source: Ampliz

80. A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the “unbreakable” comb for everyone to see and said, “And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside.” Source: Hubspot

81. A question to the Sales Coach: “Dear B2B Sales Coach: What is the best sales joke you ever told?” Me: “My next one!” Source: B2B Sales Connections

Back to Top

More than 80 of the Best Sales Jokes!

So there you have it. More than 80 of the best sales jokes I hope you enjoyed them. If you have any to add to the list, please don’t hesitate to add them into the comments below. After all, as Madeleine L'Engle once said, “A good laugh heals a lot of hurts.”

Sales jokes are just one way to start your day off on the right foot. For other ideas, check out these 10 tips on how salespeople can get and keep a positive attitude.

Aim Higher!

Susan A. Enns, B2B Sales Coach and Author
Schedule a free sales coaching strategy session with Susan here.

Do you have a question about sales? You're not alone.  Most sales people have questions like this on how they can sell more. For the right answers, check out my book, Ask the Sales Coach-Practical Answers to the Questions Sales People Ask Most.